Today is the final day of the music series here on the old blog and I am going to confess that I lied at the beginning of the week. I told you on Day One that I was going to feature only Sojourn music, but then I realized that one of the songs I desperately wanted to include was actually not written by anyone at Sojourn, it was instead written by Brian Eichelberger from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. I looked through the many songs that Sojourn has written to replace today's song, and while they are all amazing, this particular song has a very special place in my heart. So I decided to break my own rules and include a non-Sojourn song. I am compromising by including the Sojourn adaptation of the song.
Satisfied in You Audio
Satisfied in You
Brian Eichelberger
©
2009 Brian Eichelberger. Some rights reserved under the
Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial 3.0 License.
I have lost my appetite
And a flood is welling up behind my eyes
So I eat the tears I cry
And if that were not enough
They know just the words to cut and tear and prod
When they ask me “Whereʼs your God?”
So why are you downcast, oh my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
I can remember when you showed your face to me
As a deer pants for water, so my soul longs for you
And when I survey Your splendor, You so faithfully renew
Like a bed of rest for my fainting flesh
I am satisfied in You
So when Iʼm looking at the ground
Itʼs an inbred feedback loop that drags me down
So itʼs time to lift my brow
And remember better days
When I loved to worship you and learn your ways
With the sweetest songs of praise
Let my sighs give way to songs that sing about your faithfulness
Let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest
Let my losses show me all I truly have is you
So when Iʼm drowning out at sea
And all your breakers and your waves crash down on me
Iʼll recall your safety scheme
Youʼre the one who made the waves
And your Son went out to suffer in my place
Just to show me that Iʼm safe
So why are you downcast, oh my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
I am satisfied in you
I had heard this song many times during my time at Sojourn, but it was not until a particular Sunday morning in at the end of 2012 when this song became real to me.
It was the Saturday before New Year's Eve in 2012, I was at home with the kids while Aaron was working. Around lunchtime on that day I got a text from Aaron telling me that he was currently in a meeting with his manager and they were on the phone with some higher ups in the company and that he was pretty sure he was getting fired. It was not long after that when Aaron informed me that he was being sent home. Turns out Aaron had shared some company information with someone he was not supposed to and he was going to be fired. Aaron was such a man about the whole thing; he accepted responsibility and understood that he fully deserved being fired. However, it was scary to look ahead and realize that he would not have a job starting in the new year, and my income as a nanny would not be enough to sustain our family.
The next morning we went to church as we always do and we both felt as if we had the weight of the world on our shoulders. Aaron was feeling guilt and shame over his choices and what that meant for our family. I was worried about Aaron, and also our financial situation, and I was focused on loving Aaron and doing my best to not add anymore grief to what he was already feeling. The whole service that morning seemed perfectly manufactured for us. The whole morning we truly felt the presence of our Father offering us comforting and peace. It was on this particular morning that we sang "Satisfied in You" and it was like I was hearing the song for the first time.
My posture was very much like the song. I was downcast, staring at the ground, and my soul was disturbed. Then the line, "so it's time to lift my brow" came in the song, I did just that. I physically lifted my head towards heaven and I began to recall all the ways God had provided for us in the past. The burden was being lifted from my heart and I was giving my troubles to God because he was big enough to handle it.
As we reached the bridge of the song I was becoming quite emotional as I realized that this song described me. When Brooks sang the line, "Let my losses show me that all I truly have is you," my soul was shouting inside me, "Yes, all I have is Christ and he is enough!" By the final verse of the song I was crying so hard that I could not even sing the words, I could only stand there mouthing them and cry. Aaron and I truly felt like we were drowning out at sea on that day. We needed to be reminded that God had made the waves and that he had prepared a way for our salvation through the death of his Son, Jesus Christ, and that we were going to be okay. That morning I experienced true satisfaction in Christ as he was all I had to lean on.
This is why I love music so much. Music is able to speak into a situation when sometimes words cannot break through. I don't think I would have listened to someone had they just spoken these truths to me. I think that I would have been too consumed by my own little world to hear anything said to me. But the music was able to reach into my soul and make me listen.
Are you downcast? Is your soul disturbed within you? Then lift your brow and look to Christ. He is sufficient to give you rest and provide for your every need. He will keep you safe and provide, he will not leave you to drown. Call out to Christ, grab hold to him and let him hold you up. All you need is Christ, find rest and satisfaction in that truth.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Day Four: How God Speaks to Me Through Song
Today I am featuring one of my favorite songs, Come Ye Sinners. This is one of those songs that presents the gospel so beautifully and I can listen to it over and over again (in fact I am listening to it as I write this post).
Come Ye Sinners Audio
Come Ye Sinners
Come, ye sinners, poor and needy
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.
Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God's free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.
Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry 'til you're better,
You will never come at all.
You will never come at all.
On the bloody Cross behold Him,
Sinner, will this not suffice,
Lo! the incarnate God ascended,
Pleads His perfect sacrifice.
Let not conscience make you linger,
Not of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requireth,
Is to feel your need of Him.
This song is just so beautiful and so full of truth. We are all sinners, poor, needy, weak, wounded, sick and sore. We are all in desperate need of a savior, and Jesus is standing ready to save us. God has provided us with the grace necessary to come into His holy presence. With belief and repentance, God sets us free through the death of Jesus. We are lost and ruined and none of us can make ourselves good enough to come before God.
One of my favorite parts of this song is the final lines of the chorus; "if you tarry 'til you're better, you will never come at all." There is no waiting until you make yourself better, because you never can. Only Jesus makes you good enough to come before God.
My other favorite part of this song is the second verse. This is exactly my sentiment when I think of those who have yet to accept Jesus as their Savior. Is Jesus' perfect sacrifice not enough? What more do you need? Over the past few months, as Jesus has become more and more important to me, my desire to see the nations come to know him has grown. I want everyone to experience this joy and assurance that I have. This is one of the reasons I started this blog. My hope is that someone will read my posts and feel the Holy Spirit tug on her heart and call out to Jesus to save her.
So today, as you listen to one of my favorite songs and you read the lyrics, open your heart to the prodding of the Holy Spirit. If you feel the Spirit tug at your heart, answer that call. You are never going to be able to do enough good deeds to atone for your sins. All you can do is plead the sacrifice of Jesus. Take Christ today and live with the assurance of your salvation.
Come Ye Sinners Audio
Come Ye Sinners
Joseph Hart, Brooks Ritter
CCLI License #1888971
©Sojourn Community Church 2012Come, ye sinners, poor and needy
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.
Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God's free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.
Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry 'til you're better,
You will never come at all.
You will never come at all.
On the bloody Cross behold Him,
Sinner, will this not suffice,
Lo! the incarnate God ascended,
Pleads His perfect sacrifice.
Let not conscience make you linger,
Not of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requireth,
Is to feel your need of Him.
This song is just so beautiful and so full of truth. We are all sinners, poor, needy, weak, wounded, sick and sore. We are all in desperate need of a savior, and Jesus is standing ready to save us. God has provided us with the grace necessary to come into His holy presence. With belief and repentance, God sets us free through the death of Jesus. We are lost and ruined and none of us can make ourselves good enough to come before God.
One of my favorite parts of this song is the final lines of the chorus; "if you tarry 'til you're better, you will never come at all." There is no waiting until you make yourself better, because you never can. Only Jesus makes you good enough to come before God.
My other favorite part of this song is the second verse. This is exactly my sentiment when I think of those who have yet to accept Jesus as their Savior. Is Jesus' perfect sacrifice not enough? What more do you need? Over the past few months, as Jesus has become more and more important to me, my desire to see the nations come to know him has grown. I want everyone to experience this joy and assurance that I have. This is one of the reasons I started this blog. My hope is that someone will read my posts and feel the Holy Spirit tug on her heart and call out to Jesus to save her.
So today, as you listen to one of my favorite songs and you read the lyrics, open your heart to the prodding of the Holy Spirit. If you feel the Spirit tug at your heart, answer that call. You are never going to be able to do enough good deeds to atone for your sins. All you can do is plead the sacrifice of Jesus. Take Christ today and live with the assurance of your salvation.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Day Three: How God Speaks to Me Through Song
*I want to apologize that this post is a day late. It seems that everyone in my house is sick and yesterday was spent mostly in the doctor's office and pharmacy.
Today I am featuring "We Are Changed." This is a song that always gets me dancing in church and just makes me feel good.
We Are Changed Audio
We Are Changed
Dave Moisan, Bobby Gilles, and Neil Robins
©2008 Sojourn Community Church and Bobby Gilles
CCLI Song #5429004
CCLI License #1888971 1
Not any government on earth no law that God has given
No will of man no blood no birth can raise a soul to Heaven
The sovereign will of God alone prepares the heirs of grace
Born in the image of His son a chosen holy race.
Itʼs through Your Spirit
Through Your sacrificial Son.
We are changed, no longer in chains
Once were enslaved but the Son has come
And conquered the grave, so we are changed.
We are changed not by the things weʼve arranged
Not by the work our hands have done
Itʼs through Your Son that we are changed.
Our quickened souls awake and rise from sin and shame and death.
On heavenly things we fix our eyes His praise employs our breath
Not any government on earth no law that God has given
No will of man no blood no birth can raise a soul to Heaven
This is one of those songs of encouragement and hope in our salvation through Jesus Christ. I love this song because it articulates so clearly how our salvation is not done by us. We have absolutely no power to get to Heaven, it is only the sovereign will of God.
My favorite part of this song is the chorus. I was once a slave to sin until Jesus broke my chains and set me free. Those who know me will attest to the fact that in the past 6 months there has been a great change in my life. I am not the same person all because of the work of Jesus in my life. This song just really applies to me right now.
I hope that you too will find encouragement in this song and the fact that Jesus has already done all the work. There is nothing you can do to earn God's favor, Jesus has already done all the work when he died on the cross and rose again. I hope that you rejoice in change in your life through Jesus. Take time today to thank Jesus for his power that saved you from sin and death.
If you have not experienced the change that comes from Jesus, I encourage you to accept the salvation that comes from Jesus and you too can rejoice in the change that salvation can bring. Release the weight of trying to save yourself and experience the true freedom that only comes from Christ.
Today I am featuring "We Are Changed." This is a song that always gets me dancing in church and just makes me feel good.
We Are Changed Audio
We Are Changed
Dave Moisan, Bobby Gilles, and Neil Robins
©2008 Sojourn Community Church and Bobby Gilles
CCLI Song #5429004
CCLI License #1888971 1
Not any government on earth no law that God has given
No will of man no blood no birth can raise a soul to Heaven
The sovereign will of God alone prepares the heirs of grace
Born in the image of His son a chosen holy race.
Itʼs through Your Spirit
Through Your sacrificial Son.
We are changed, no longer in chains
Once were enslaved but the Son has come
And conquered the grave, so we are changed.
We are changed not by the things weʼve arranged
Not by the work our hands have done
Itʼs through Your Son that we are changed.
Our quickened souls awake and rise from sin and shame and death.
On heavenly things we fix our eyes His praise employs our breath
Not any government on earth no law that God has given
No will of man no blood no birth can raise a soul to Heaven
This is one of those songs of encouragement and hope in our salvation through Jesus Christ. I love this song because it articulates so clearly how our salvation is not done by us. We have absolutely no power to get to Heaven, it is only the sovereign will of God.
My favorite part of this song is the chorus. I was once a slave to sin until Jesus broke my chains and set me free. Those who know me will attest to the fact that in the past 6 months there has been a great change in my life. I am not the same person all because of the work of Jesus in my life. This song just really applies to me right now.
I hope that you too will find encouragement in this song and the fact that Jesus has already done all the work. There is nothing you can do to earn God's favor, Jesus has already done all the work when he died on the cross and rose again. I hope that you rejoice in change in your life through Jesus. Take time today to thank Jesus for his power that saved you from sin and death.
If you have not experienced the change that comes from Jesus, I encourage you to accept the salvation that comes from Jesus and you too can rejoice in the change that salvation can bring. Release the weight of trying to save yourself and experience the true freedom that only comes from Christ.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Day Two: How God Speaks to Me Through Song
Today I am going to share an older song, and by older I mean from 2007. I say it is older because it is not in the regular rotation at church, but it was when we first started attended Sojourn in 2009. This song was written by Charlie Richardson and it is titled, "There Is A Peace."
There is a Peace
Come weary and tired worn out from life
Step out of the shadows and walk into light
Come sinner or saint, slave man or free
Bring blessings and offerings, then you shall see
Bring blessings and offering, then you shall see
There's a peace to settle your soul
There is a peace that is calling you home
You've been tempted and shaken, tested and failed
You've been so far from Jesus, too close to hell
Your vision's been clouded by this world's delight
But I tell you you're not of this world so stand up and fight
You're not of this world so stand up and fight
There's a peace to settle your soul
There is a peace that is calling you home
There is a peace to settle your soul
There is a peace that is calling you home
There is a peace perfect and true
The Prince of peace is calling for you
This is one of those songs that when we do sing it in church I can't seem to raise my hands high enough and I can't smile big enough and I can't sing it loud enough. This song always brings me peace and comfort.
I am a stay at home and I also nanny a precious little boy in my home during the week, so I know about being tired and weary and worn out from life. There are days when all I want to do is curl up under a blanket, watch Gilmore Girls on DVD and just check out from life. There are days when I just don't have peace-I am filled with anxiety over how the bills are going to be paid or I am stressed out because my kids are being kids and bickering constantly or I am angry because my kids just are not listening to me. I need the peace of Christ everyday, and especially on the days when I am not trusting in Jesus.
This song also speaks to those times when I am lost in my sin. Even as a child of God, I struggle with sin. There are times when I don't listen to the Holy Spirit prodding at my heart and I do whatever I want to do. This song give me hope. There have been times when I have been close to hell and very far from Jesus. I have been woed by this world and believed that the world's delights will bring me peace and happiness. There are times when I feel so weakened by the weight of my sin that I don't think I can do anything to defeat it. It is because of those times that I love the final line of the second verse, "You're not of this world so stand up and fight!" When we sing this song in church, I am usually bouncing up and down, pumping my fist in the air, and singing this line at the top of my lungs. I need to be reminded that I am not of this world and my power does not come from me, my power is Jesus and because of that power I can stand up and fight!! That is good news!!
Today's song is a little shorter, but man is it good. I hope that you will listen to it and read the words and rest in the peace that comes only from Jesus. If you are feeling far from Jesus and close to hell, call on Jesus to give you the power to stand up and fight. If you are weary and tired and worn out from life, Jesus, the Prince of Peace is calling you home, listen to that call; come home.
There is a Peace
Charlie Richardson
© 2007 Sojourn Community Church
CCLI Song #5133888
CCLI License #1888971
Come weary and tired worn out from life
Step out of the shadows and walk into light
Come sinner or saint, slave man or free
Bring blessings and offerings, then you shall see
Bring blessings and offering, then you shall see
There's a peace to settle your soul
There is a peace that is calling you home
You've been tempted and shaken, tested and failed
You've been so far from Jesus, too close to hell
Your vision's been clouded by this world's delight
But I tell you you're not of this world so stand up and fight
You're not of this world so stand up and fight
There's a peace to settle your soul
There is a peace that is calling you home
There is a peace to settle your soul
There is a peace that is calling you home
There is a peace perfect and true
The Prince of peace is calling for you
This is one of those songs that when we do sing it in church I can't seem to raise my hands high enough and I can't smile big enough and I can't sing it loud enough. This song always brings me peace and comfort.
I am a stay at home and I also nanny a precious little boy in my home during the week, so I know about being tired and weary and worn out from life. There are days when all I want to do is curl up under a blanket, watch Gilmore Girls on DVD and just check out from life. There are days when I just don't have peace-I am filled with anxiety over how the bills are going to be paid or I am stressed out because my kids are being kids and bickering constantly or I am angry because my kids just are not listening to me. I need the peace of Christ everyday, and especially on the days when I am not trusting in Jesus.
This song also speaks to those times when I am lost in my sin. Even as a child of God, I struggle with sin. There are times when I don't listen to the Holy Spirit prodding at my heart and I do whatever I want to do. This song give me hope. There have been times when I have been close to hell and very far from Jesus. I have been woed by this world and believed that the world's delights will bring me peace and happiness. There are times when I feel so weakened by the weight of my sin that I don't think I can do anything to defeat it. It is because of those times that I love the final line of the second verse, "You're not of this world so stand up and fight!" When we sing this song in church, I am usually bouncing up and down, pumping my fist in the air, and singing this line at the top of my lungs. I need to be reminded that I am not of this world and my power does not come from me, my power is Jesus and because of that power I can stand up and fight!! That is good news!!
Today's song is a little shorter, but man is it good. I hope that you will listen to it and read the words and rest in the peace that comes only from Jesus. If you are feeling far from Jesus and close to hell, call on Jesus to give you the power to stand up and fight. If you are weary and tired and worn out from life, Jesus, the Prince of Peace is calling you home, listen to that call; come home.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Day One: How God Speaks to Me Through Song
I have decided that this week I am going to focus solely on Sojourn originals. I want everyone to experience the amazing music that comes out of my church and to see how well the gospel is presented every week, through the music and through the teaching. There are so many songs that I want to do, and if this series is a hit, I might just do it again and use non-Sojourn songs. So, for this week, I hope you enjoy the music that has come out of my church.
The first song I want to share with the blogosphere is "Lead Us Back". This song was written by Brooks Ritter and Bobby Gilles. The song can be found on the Before the Throne album that was released in 2007. Both of these men are elders at our church. If you come to the Midtown campus, which is the campus I attend, you will more than likely see Brooks on the stage leading music. We sang this song yesterday during the service and it is just amazing.
Lead Us Back Audio
Lead Us Back
Bobby Gilles and Brooks Ritter
©2006 Bobby Gilles and Sojourn Community Church
CCLI Song #4878333
CCLI License #1888971
Falling down upon our knees
Sharing now in common shame
We have sought security
Not the cross that bears Your name
Fences guard our hearts and homes
Comfort sings a siren tune
We’re a valley of dry bones
Lead us back to life in You
Lord we fall upon our knees
We have shunned the weak and poor
Worshipped beauty, courted kings
And the things their gold affords
Prayed for those we’d like to know
Favor sings a siren tune
We’ve become a talent show
Lead us back to life in You
You have caused the blind to see
We have blinded him again
With our man-made laws and creeds
Eager, ready to condemn
Now we plead before Your throne
Power sings a siren tune
We’ve been throwing heavy stones
Lead us back to life in You
Oh where to even begin. The first two stanzas of this song are so convicting for me. I like to feel safe and I really like to be in control. I often think that my plans are better than God's plan and oh so often I get in the way of God working in my life. Too many times I seek comfort and security instead of Jesus.
I love the line, "we're a valley of dry bones." This is a reference to Ezekiel 37 where the prophet is shown a valley of dry bones and the Lord asks Ezekiel, "Can these bones live?" Later in the chapter, the Lord tells Ezekiel to prophesy over the bones and while Ezekiel is doing just that the Lord brings those dry bones back to life. I love that even when I am a valley of dry bones, the Lord still has the power to bring me back to life. I can't do it on my own power, it is only the power of Jesus that can bring me back to life.
The next two stanzas are also very convicting for me. I know that I have so often sought for people to like me, often not caring the cost. I don't know about you, but I like being in someone's favor. The part that always gets me is the line, "We've become a talent show." I am guilty of wanting recognition. I used to sing solos at church, not to glorify God, but so that people would compliment me after the service. When I was in the youth group, I would always volunteer to share my testimony on youth Sunday, because I wanted people to tell me how wonderful I was. I also tend to volunteer for many things at church simply so I will be recognized by the leadership. Songs like this have convicted to me to search my heart when I volunteer to serve, to make sure that I am doing it for the right reasons.
The final two stanzas really hit home with me yesterday. How often do we create our own laws and expectations that we impose on people just so we can condemn them when they fail. Jesus came to give sight to the blind, and we are just like the Pharisee so often. We are currently working through the book of John at church and a few Sundays ago we studied John chapter 9 when Jesus heals a man who was born blind on a Sabbath. The man was brought before the Pharisees and they were so consumed by the fact that Jesus made mud on the Sabbath, which is consider working, that they could not rejoice in the miracle a man being given his sight. They were blinded by their man-made laws and creeds. We are so often like this, missing the miracle for the laws.
The final thing that I want to point out from this song is the final line of each verse, "Lead us back to life in You." I love this line because it shows how I can do nothing. Recently I have really come to realize, and delight in, the truth that I had nothing to do with my salvation. Jesus is the one who lived the perfect life, the one I could not live. Jesus is the one who died on the cross, a death I deserved to die as punishment for my many sins. Jesus was the one who rose on the third day defeating death, I have absolutely no power over death. It is Jesus and Jesus only who saves me. All I could do was call out, "Save me Jesus." When I was younger I used to believe that I played some part in my salvation, because I admitted that I was sinner and I believed that Jesus is Lord and repented of my sins and turned to Jesus. I have come to realize that none of that was of my own power, it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit in my heart. I love the reminder that even when I stray or make poor choices, Jesus has the power to lead me back to life in Him. Hallelujah!!
I hope you take a few minutes to listen to the song this morning and that you will let the truth wash over you. I hope this song convicts you like it convicts me and that you will ask Jesus to lead you back to life in Him. If you have never experienced life with Jesus, I pray that you will seek that life today.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
How God Speaks to me Through Song
This week I am going to do something I have not done yet on the blog: a series. Each day I am going to share a song and talk about how God has spoken to me through that song. When I can I will include an audio recording of that song.
I love music; I always have. I grew up surrounded by music. My grandparents and my dad sang in the choir, my dad played guitar, and starting in sixth grade I played clarinet (then bass clarinet, then piano, then tenor saxophone, then alto saxophone). When I was in seventh grade I began singing in various choirs and eventually formed a little singing group with my dad and younger sister and we would sing at local churches. I love music.
Music has always spoken to me. I am that person who will cry at a sad song, laugh at a happy song, and literally start jumping to an inspirational song (granted that jumping is more like a low hop, but hey it is jumping to me). For as long as I can remember, the lyrics to a song could always break through to my heart. I could be in church and hear a really great sermon, but it will be one of the songs we sing during the service that I will carry home with me.
I go to a really awesome church in Louisville, Sojourn Community Church, and they really value music.In fact, one of the reasons I fell in love with our church was because of a song we sang that second Sunday we attended, I knew then that we had found our church home. We have a praise band at every gathering, whether it be the Sunday morning service, a conference, or member's meeting. Our church loves to sing praises to our Lord. Sojourn has an amazing music ministry that fosters fantastic song writing. A lot of the music we sing on a given Sunday has been written by a member of Sojourn. It was while we were singing a Sojourn original this morning at church that I was inspired to do this series. You will get to experience some of the music from Sojourn this week.
The plan for this series is to present the lyrics to a song and then go through the truths that have been spoken to me through that song. I will hopefully include an audio recording of the song at the end of each post so that you can hear the music, not just read the lyrics. I hope that you will join me this week as I talk about a subject that means so much to me.
I love music; I always have. I grew up surrounded by music. My grandparents and my dad sang in the choir, my dad played guitar, and starting in sixth grade I played clarinet (then bass clarinet, then piano, then tenor saxophone, then alto saxophone). When I was in seventh grade I began singing in various choirs and eventually formed a little singing group with my dad and younger sister and we would sing at local churches. I love music.
Music has always spoken to me. I am that person who will cry at a sad song, laugh at a happy song, and literally start jumping to an inspirational song (granted that jumping is more like a low hop, but hey it is jumping to me). For as long as I can remember, the lyrics to a song could always break through to my heart. I could be in church and hear a really great sermon, but it will be one of the songs we sing during the service that I will carry home with me.
I go to a really awesome church in Louisville, Sojourn Community Church, and they really value music.In fact, one of the reasons I fell in love with our church was because of a song we sang that second Sunday we attended, I knew then that we had found our church home. We have a praise band at every gathering, whether it be the Sunday morning service, a conference, or member's meeting. Our church loves to sing praises to our Lord. Sojourn has an amazing music ministry that fosters fantastic song writing. A lot of the music we sing on a given Sunday has been written by a member of Sojourn. It was while we were singing a Sojourn original this morning at church that I was inspired to do this series. You will get to experience some of the music from Sojourn this week.
The plan for this series is to present the lyrics to a song and then go through the truths that have been spoken to me through that song. I will hopefully include an audio recording of the song at the end of each post so that you can hear the music, not just read the lyrics. I hope that you will join me this week as I talk about a subject that means so much to me.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Start the New Year with No More Shame!
It is that time of year when everyone makes their New Year's Resolutions. This year I am going to run everyday. This year I am going to lose 50 pounds. This year I am going to eat healthier. This year I am going to be more organized. The list goes on and on. Most people keep their resolve for about 2 weeks and by February they have completely given up. I have a resolution suggestion that requires very little work on your part: live a life of no more shame.
Shame is a topic that I know all too well. If you have read any of my previous blog posts, you know a little of my story. I was raised with the mindset of always being good. I remember being told by my parents and grandparents to behave because I represented our family every time I walked out the door. At church, the story was not much different. I grew up going to church every time the doors were opened and much of the teachings revolved around morality; following God's rules and not sinning because sinners go to hell. Unfortunately, I never grasped the concept that it is only by the power of Jesus that I can do anything. I believed that it was up to me to follow the rules and "be good."
I was carrying a very heavy burden, that I was never meant to bear. I tried really hard to do the right thing and I failed miserably, a lot. Every time I broke one of the rules I would feel horrible and the guilt would set in. Guilt has a lovely way of taking up residence deep in your gut and before long it invites its old buddy shame to move right in. As I got older my sins got, bigger you might say. I was doing things that I knew were wrong and I was living a life that was a total contradiction from the way I was raised. I always felt bad about what I was doing, but I did not possess the will power to say no. And my shame kept me in this spiral of sin and guilt.
Every time I would resolve to give up a specific sin, my shame would start replaying this movie reel of every time I had failed in the past. It was horrible and my resolve would just fall to pieces. It wasn't long into high school that I just gave up trying at all. My shame had become a permanent resident in my soul and I wasn't good enough to do anything about it.
Shame makes you feel completely worthless. You are not good enough to accomplish anything and if you try you are just going to fail again. My shame led me to seek worth and value in guys. I always had to have a boyfriend. In my entire middle school and high school career I don't think I went more than a week without a boyfriend. My worth was dependent on having a guy like me. I would change my identity to match whatever I thought would get me the most attention. When I had a boyfriend I would lose all sense of self and suddenly I liked whatever he liked and I did whatever he wanted me to do. My shame kept me in these unhealthy relationships because I believed I wasn't worth any better.
My senior year in high school my grandfather died after a long battle with cancer. This was the first time I had ever lost a grandparent and I was devastated. My life was turned completely upside down and I began to see just how out of control everything was. I became very angry and bitter at God and at most of the world. I was lashing out and just hoping that someone would notice and rescue me.
Then I went to summer camp, just like every other summer since I was 12, but this time something was different. I was very open with my anger and my doubts and my feelings of shame and worthlessness. On one of the final nights of camp I found my group leader and I told her how God could never forgive someone like me. She prayed with me and showed me that God loved me so much he sent Jesus to die for me and nothing I could ever do would keep him from loving me. I tell people that I met God face-to-face that night. I threw everything I had at God and I beat his chest with fists, and when I was completely spent I fell into the arms of my heavenly Father. God did not push me away in disgust, instead he wrapped his arms around me and called me his beloved child.
In that moment the shame that had been living in my gut for so long was given its eviction notice. Now my shame put up a fight, but for the first time I did not have to fight it, I simply leaned on Jesus and let him battle for me. It took some time but finally the shame was gone and I began to see myself in a new light. Jesus became my identity and my worth was found solely in him.
I don't want you to think that I trusted in Jesus and I have never struggled with shame ever again, because that is just not the case. I have to daily trust in Jesus to be my identity and trust that his death on the cross is enough to cover all my sins. When I fail by screaming at my kids or giving my husband the silent treatment for a petty infraction or I lose my temper, I remember that I live by grace and this gives me the confidence to ask forgiveness and try again.
You might be asking yourself, why are you telling me all this? My hope and prayer is that my story will give you hope. Maybe you are living with shame that has immobilized you and you believe that you are worthless. Maybe you, like me, are seeking to define yourself by people or things. Maybe you have lost all hope and are just wishing someone will come rescue you. That someone is Jesus.
Jesus left his home in heaven to come to this earth to live a perfect life that we could never live. Jesus then died on the cross, a death he did not deserve, all so he could be the ultimate sacrifice to forgive all of our sins. He then rose three days later to defeat death once and for all, so that if you believe in him you can go through life confidently with no fear of death. Jesus is enough, his grace and forgiveness are sufficient. No matter what your past holds, Jesus' death pays the full price. You do not have to do it alone, you do not have to carry the burden of failure and shame. Jesus' grace can free you from the cycle you are in and give you the confidence and strength to keep trying. Call on the name of Jesus to save you from your mess and believe in his power to set you free.
You have already been chosen by Jesus and he has done all the work, you simply have to accept his gift and walk in new life with him.
Shame is a topic that I know all too well. If you have read any of my previous blog posts, you know a little of my story. I was raised with the mindset of always being good. I remember being told by my parents and grandparents to behave because I represented our family every time I walked out the door. At church, the story was not much different. I grew up going to church every time the doors were opened and much of the teachings revolved around morality; following God's rules and not sinning because sinners go to hell. Unfortunately, I never grasped the concept that it is only by the power of Jesus that I can do anything. I believed that it was up to me to follow the rules and "be good."
I was carrying a very heavy burden, that I was never meant to bear. I tried really hard to do the right thing and I failed miserably, a lot. Every time I broke one of the rules I would feel horrible and the guilt would set in. Guilt has a lovely way of taking up residence deep in your gut and before long it invites its old buddy shame to move right in. As I got older my sins got, bigger you might say. I was doing things that I knew were wrong and I was living a life that was a total contradiction from the way I was raised. I always felt bad about what I was doing, but I did not possess the will power to say no. And my shame kept me in this spiral of sin and guilt.
Every time I would resolve to give up a specific sin, my shame would start replaying this movie reel of every time I had failed in the past. It was horrible and my resolve would just fall to pieces. It wasn't long into high school that I just gave up trying at all. My shame had become a permanent resident in my soul and I wasn't good enough to do anything about it.
Shame makes you feel completely worthless. You are not good enough to accomplish anything and if you try you are just going to fail again. My shame led me to seek worth and value in guys. I always had to have a boyfriend. In my entire middle school and high school career I don't think I went more than a week without a boyfriend. My worth was dependent on having a guy like me. I would change my identity to match whatever I thought would get me the most attention. When I had a boyfriend I would lose all sense of self and suddenly I liked whatever he liked and I did whatever he wanted me to do. My shame kept me in these unhealthy relationships because I believed I wasn't worth any better.
My senior year in high school my grandfather died after a long battle with cancer. This was the first time I had ever lost a grandparent and I was devastated. My life was turned completely upside down and I began to see just how out of control everything was. I became very angry and bitter at God and at most of the world. I was lashing out and just hoping that someone would notice and rescue me.
Then I went to summer camp, just like every other summer since I was 12, but this time something was different. I was very open with my anger and my doubts and my feelings of shame and worthlessness. On one of the final nights of camp I found my group leader and I told her how God could never forgive someone like me. She prayed with me and showed me that God loved me so much he sent Jesus to die for me and nothing I could ever do would keep him from loving me. I tell people that I met God face-to-face that night. I threw everything I had at God and I beat his chest with fists, and when I was completely spent I fell into the arms of my heavenly Father. God did not push me away in disgust, instead he wrapped his arms around me and called me his beloved child.
In that moment the shame that had been living in my gut for so long was given its eviction notice. Now my shame put up a fight, but for the first time I did not have to fight it, I simply leaned on Jesus and let him battle for me. It took some time but finally the shame was gone and I began to see myself in a new light. Jesus became my identity and my worth was found solely in him.
I don't want you to think that I trusted in Jesus and I have never struggled with shame ever again, because that is just not the case. I have to daily trust in Jesus to be my identity and trust that his death on the cross is enough to cover all my sins. When I fail by screaming at my kids or giving my husband the silent treatment for a petty infraction or I lose my temper, I remember that I live by grace and this gives me the confidence to ask forgiveness and try again.
You might be asking yourself, why are you telling me all this? My hope and prayer is that my story will give you hope. Maybe you are living with shame that has immobilized you and you believe that you are worthless. Maybe you, like me, are seeking to define yourself by people or things. Maybe you have lost all hope and are just wishing someone will come rescue you. That someone is Jesus.
Jesus left his home in heaven to come to this earth to live a perfect life that we could never live. Jesus then died on the cross, a death he did not deserve, all so he could be the ultimate sacrifice to forgive all of our sins. He then rose three days later to defeat death once and for all, so that if you believe in him you can go through life confidently with no fear of death. Jesus is enough, his grace and forgiveness are sufficient. No matter what your past holds, Jesus' death pays the full price. You do not have to do it alone, you do not have to carry the burden of failure and shame. Jesus' grace can free you from the cycle you are in and give you the confidence and strength to keep trying. Call on the name of Jesus to save you from your mess and believe in his power to set you free.
You have already been chosen by Jesus and he has done all the work, you simply have to accept his gift and walk in new life with him.
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