My husband and I decided before we had children that we were NOT going to do Santa with our kids. When people hear this we get one of two reactions. The first is from other parents who have made the same choice and we are encouraged. We will discuss our reasons for our choice and then we talk about how we approach the issue of Santa with our kids. I love having a group of people with which to bounce off ideas and simply go this journey together.
The other reaction is from people who label us a self-righteous, judgmental, crazy, and people who are stealing the "magic and imaginations" right from under our children. To be honest, that hurts and it is very frustrating. The assumption is that our children are somehow being deprived of something because we choose to leave out Santa from our family traditions. So for the record, our kids love Christmas. We watch the Christmas movies, we put up a big colorful tree, we make cookies, we sing Christmas carols, we even go to see Santa at Bass Pro Shop. The only difference is that we emphasize to our kids that Santa is just pretend, he is a fun character in a story like Frosty or Sleeping Beauty or Iron Man. Then we talk about the real St. Nicholas and his legacy and talk about how people like to be Santa for other people. We also take our kids shopping to pick out a toy to donate as their small way of "being Santa."
So, you might be asking, "What does this cooky lady have against Santa? Was she raised in some crazed, backwoods cult?" Actually, I grew up believing in Santa. I was that kid who didn't find out the truth until I was like 11 or 12. And to be honest, I wasn't really all that devastated. Believing in Santa did not stunt my spiritual growth or make me doubt the existence of Jesus. My husband also grew up believing in Santa. It was fun and enjoyable and we do not have anything against our parents for teaching us to believe in Santa. We simply made a different choice for our children.
When Aaron and I were first married, we talked about Santa. Even though grew up believing in Santa, we wanted more for our kids. In the beginning we latched on to the thought that if we lie to our kids about Santa, then they won't believe us when we told them the really important things; but like people do, we grew up, matured and realized that reasoning was, to be blunt, DUMB! We then moved to simply wanting to redeem Santa. We didn't want our kids focusing on what they could get from Santa, but to instead focus on what they could give to others, much like St. Nicholas.
In recent years, as we have both grown deeper in our faith, we have developed more reasons for not doing Santa. One of the most popular reasons out there for not doing Santa, is that we don't want to lie to our kids, and that is part of why we don't do Santa. We feel there is a big difference in pretending and make believe, and flat out telling your kids that a guy in a red suit sneaks into their house on Christmas Eve and leaves them presents. When it comes to make believe in our home, we really do strive the "pretend" factor. Our children are learning the difference between real and make believe and they are taught that it is ok to pretend and have fun. When we go see characters (and yes we have seen Iron Man, Sleeping Beauty, and Santa) we do emphasize that it is just a person in a costume. We do this partly because my son freaks out and hearing that it is just someone dressed up, like he does for Halloween, helps him not be afraid. Also, we do this because I think it helps them distinguish between reality and make believe.
Another popular reason is that we don't want our kids to miss out on the reason for Christmas. This one also applies, because we don't want our kids so consumed by what they want for Christmas that they forget the reason we celebrate Christmas to begin with, JESUS! So, we limit the amount of gifts our children receive. We remind them daily that it's all about God sending his Son Jesus to live a perfect life and die a death he didn't deserve on the cross in order to take the punishment for our sins. (No, we don't just talk about sweet baby Jesus lying in a manger).
But, you want to know my BIGGEST reason for not doing Santa with my kids, the point that I harp on every time Santa is brought up? The concept of having to be good to earn presents. I hate the "naughty and nice" list thing and that Santa is "watching so you better watch out". I don't like that starting the day after Thanksgiving we tell kids that they better listen to their parents and be extra good because Santa is watching and won't bring them any presents if they are bad. This bothers me. This way of thinking DID effect my spiritual growth (not that it was just emphasized to me at Christmas, but go with me). I grew up thinking that I had to always be good and do the right thing and that I had to earn favor from people and from God. When I couldn't live up to the expectations, I was devastated and felt shame and guilt. This way of thinking followed me long into adulthood and I am still struggling with this daily. I would hate for my kids to grow up thinking they have to earn my favor and then ultimately to earn God's favor. You see, none of us is good, none of us deserve favor. We are shown favor because God loves us, he loves us so much that he sent us his son as the ultimate gift. So at Christmas, and all the time, I remind my babies that I don't give them presents because they were good or because they earned them, I give them presents simply because I love them and they are my babies. That is the real reason I don't do Santa.
And just in case you don't believe me about my kids enjoying Christmas:
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