I am going to do a two part series on Disney princesses. In part one I am going to talk about some of the things that Disney princesses teach our daughters that can be detrimental and then in part two I am going to talk about the things we should be teaching our daughters in light of the Disney princesses.
Let me preface by saying, I love Disney princesses and Disney in general. I cannot even begin to count how many Disney movies we own. My kids love the Disney shows that are on Netflix. We are going to Disney World in February and we are super excited about it. My three year old daughter has many princess dress-up costumes and we watch at least one princess movie a day while her brother is at school. So this blog is not meant to be a call to boycott Disney movies or to plead with you to never let your daughters watch Disney princess movies. On the contrary, I simply want you to watch these movies with your daughter with your eyes open.
Movies can have a huge, subconscious impact on the way we see the world, especially when we are young. Often times we don't even realize that our worldview is being shaped by what we watch, but it is. I do not believe in sheltering my children to the point they never watch any television unless it is all about Jesus. I don't watch TV like that and I don't expect my children to watch TV like that. Also, I am not naive enough to believe that my children will never watch something questionable. Instead, my hope and prayer is to be in constant dialogue with my children so that when something questionable comes over our television, they have a strong foundation of Christ honoring to stand on.
For the purpose of this series, I am going to focus on the five "big" princesses: Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Ariel (The Little Mermaid), and Belle (Beauty and the Beast). I am going to be talking about some of the general things that I see across all five of these movies, and I am going to talk about two of these movies in particular.
Before I jump into the detrimental things that I see Disney princesses teaching my daughter, I want to talk about some of the good things I see in Disney princesses. Almost all of the Disney princesses are kind and compassionate and hard-working. You see young women who think of others and truly care about the feelings of those around them. They also work hard, even when the work is unfair.
I also see great examples of how to be respectful, even when the situation is less than desirable. Cinderella is never hateful towards her stepmother or stepsisters, even though she would be justified. Aurora is very unhappy about being a princess and not getting to see her boy from the woods again, yet she goes with the fairy godmothers and doesn't whine or complain. Belle is treated very poorly by the people in her village, yet she never lashes out at them or treats them with disrespect. This is a very important life lesson, that even when you don't like it, you still have to be respectful.
Finally, all of these movies portray marriage in a favorable light, which I truly appreciate. I believe in marriage and I do hope that my daughter will grow up to value marriage. All of these movies show a man and a woman fall in love and get married and then live life together. The traditional view of marriage is there and even glorified. This post is not about marriage and what is right and wrong and if you disagree with my stance, then fine, send me an email and we will talk. However, I appreciate that these movies portray marriage in a way that is in line with how Aaron and I wish to raise our children.
Now onto the not so great lessons these movies are teaching my daughter:
1. Beauty is something of great value and much of your worth lies in your looks.
Every single Disney princess has the flawless skin, big red lips, teeny tiny waists, and classic beauty. Not a one of the "big" Disney princess is awkward or has acne or is large, they are all in line with what society deems as beautiful. Also, many times throughout each of these movies the beauty of the princess is mentioned in regards to someone loving her for that beauty or being jealous of her for that beauty. Much of a princess' worth is found in her appearance. This a dangerous lesson.
2. Love at first sight.
This one aggravates me every time. Snow White is singing into a well, Prince Charming rides by and is automatically in love with her, without a word ever being spoken between them. Cinderella goes to a ball, Prince Charming sees her across the room, and they fall in love during their first dance. Aurora is singing in the forest, Prince Philip hears her, the sing and dance together for a little while and they are in love. Ariel sees Eric on his ship during his birthday party, they never speak and he never even sees her, yet she loves him. Belle is the only princess who actually spends some time with the prince before they fall in love. Love at first sight is not real and that initial infatuation definitely does not last. Love takes time and actually conversing with a person.
3. How a girl "in love" acts.
Another thing that really gets to me. I remember falling in love with my husband. Did I think about him a lot, sure. Did I smile when I thought of him, probably. But I did not float around, humming to myself, lost in a dream world. I did not forget how to act like a normal person or how to perform daily duties. Falling in love, while a great and wonderful feeling, does not mean you act like a person with absolutely no sense. Grown-ups fall in love and still have to be grown-ups, they can't just sit around singing and dreaming about their true love.
4. The DRAMA!
If you have ever watched a Disney princess movie you have seen at least one scene where the princess throws herself down onto a bed or a rock or a bench and sobs over the events of her life. Now I will grant Belle a little drama as her sobbing scene comes after agreeing to be the Beast's prisoner in exchange for the release of her father and she believes she will never see her father again. In that situation, I too would probably be a basket case. But in the other movies, the princess is just being dramatic. I have a three old daughter, and she has mastered the princess drama. If she doesn't get her chocolate milk the moment she wakes up, she will throw herself down on the floor and start to cry. These movies portray girls as hyper-emotional and they clearly have no control over themselves. Sweetheart, life is hard and sometimes life ain't fair, but you cannot throw a fit every time things don't go your way.
5. All you need is a husband to be happy.
In most of the Disney princess movies, the princess spends all of her downtime dreaming about her perfect man who will whisk her away and they will live happily every after. This is not the way it works, and this a hard lesson that I myself had to learn. Getting married to a wonderful guy does not necessarily mean you are going to be happy. Happiness takes work and happiness is fickle. If all you aspire to have in life is a husband, than your life will be very empty and probably not all that happy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to meet Mr. Right and get married and be a wife, the problem comes when the search for your husband becomes all-consuming and your identity is found in whether or not you got a man. Girls should have many dreams, not just finding Prince Charming.
Now that I have discussed some of the generalities I have seen in the Disney princess movies, I want to rant for a moment on one princess in particular: Ariel. Ariel is a selfish, egocentric brat. She is disobedient, and not because she is being mistreated or abused, but because she wants to be human, and even that is for selfish reasons. In her mind, humans have all the freedom they want and fathers don't reprimand their daughters (because discipline is bad) and if she becomes a human she will finally have everything she wants. She falls in love with a guy she has never met and justifies her blatant disrespect and disobedience of her father with the line, "but Daddy, I love him". Really, you love him, what's his last name? She is impulsive and makes naive, selfish choices just to get what she wants. Finally, she never really learns a lesson because in the end her father gives her everything she wants. With that being said, I do not forbid my daughter from watching The Little Mermaid. I do enjoy the music of The Little Mermaid and on the surface it is a cute movie, but I am very open in my comments that Ariel's behavior is not how my little princess should behave.
Before you start to think that I believe all Disney princesses are out to teach my daughter horrible lessons, I want to talk about Belle. We actually rewatched Beauty and the Beast yesterday, and I must say, she is now my favorite princess. While yes she is beautiful, she more than just a pretty face. She is smart and loves to read. She loves her father very much and is willing to defend and protect him, even at the risk of ridicule by the villagers. Belle does not just dream of having a husband; she wants adventure and to learn all she can, and if a guy comes along who shares in her dream, than cool. Most Disney princesses are portrayed as helpless damsels in distress, but not Belle, she is brave and willing to sacrifice her life to save her father and she is not afraid to stand up to the Beast. I love that this movie does not have a "love at first sight" moment. Mrs. Pots says, "love takes time," and we actually watch Belle and Beast spend time together, begin to simply like each other, and then fall in love. Finally I love how this movie shows that love sometimes means sacrifice. The Beast sacrifices his chance at being human again so that Belle can go be with her sick father. So while there are a few little things that I don't love, in all I think this movie is a great one to watch.
I know that for some of you I have burst your bubble on Disney princesses and others are thinking, well great I can never watch these movies again, but please do not despair. As I said earlier, my goal is not to have you stop watching Disney princess movies. In tomorrow's post I will talk about the lessons and values we should be instilling in our daughters, so that when they watch the Disney princess movies, they will have a strong foundation and not believe the lies they are being told.
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